37 Comments
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Catherine Traylor's avatar

Beautifully composed and recited. I, too, have been there, and still find myself there, when mine are now 24 and 21! Motherhood is both exhausting and exhilarating ❤️

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Julia's avatar

Getting to this so late, but I wanted to thank you for taking time to read. And yes, exhausting and exhilarating are two perfectly chosen words! ♥️

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Elin Strong's avatar

I AM A PUDDLE

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Julia's avatar

Getting to this so late. Thank you deeply for letting these words touch you. I am sorry and grateful at the same time that you can relate 🙏🏼

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Charlotte (has) Baby Brain's avatar

This is truly beautiful, and so relatable. I so often have moments of thinking this, and then I look at their little faces and think... But what else is there? Thank you for sharing

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Julia's avatar

But what else is there? How true and powerful. Sometimes we forget, but I am grateful for every second with them ♥️

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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

I know this feeling so well. Thank you for this.

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Julia's avatar

I see you, mama. I see you. Thank you for seeing me too. 🕊️

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Ruhie Vaidya's avatar

Julia, what a beautiful and poignant expression of the reality of motherhood - always torn between being needed so much and so intensely, yet loving them beyond measure. I see you in both the struggle and the joy beneath the daily grind, just as your words have made feel seen too. Thank you, truly 🙏🏼❤️

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Julia's avatar

Thank you once more for letting my words find your heart ♥️ I see you, heart and soul and all ♥️

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

I was hysterical crying by the end of this..."I belonged to them instead..." It is the truth, painful at time and confusing, but when I think again, I tend to find the softness and release a tiny bit of the resistance.

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Julia's avatar

I just don’t have words for this. Thank you for letting my words touch your heart. You speak so beautifully about this uncomfortable, confusing, raw side of being a mother. So thank you for seeing me. I see you too and you are a force of nature ♥️

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Emma Del Rey's avatar

Only a little choked up about you calling me a force of nature, because I feel the exact same about you. Thank you for seeing me too.

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Mariah Friend's avatar

This is beautiful. Oh, I can relate. How much guilt and shame we can feel when these emotions pop up. Several of our close friends are having second babies and we’re struggling with just our one, wondering why is this so hard? We have a healthy, happy toddler, are well resourced and still…exhausted and stressed more days than not.

I want to enjoy these sweet seasons more than I actually do and that dissonance can be heartbreaking some days.

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Julia's avatar

Dissonance. What a beautiful word to encapsulate this. Thank you, I will remember it ♥️

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Stacey Smit's avatar

So brave to say this out loud, not many mothers would dare to admit it. You wrote it so beautifully.

I had these very thoughts yesterday.

The brutal beauty of motherhood.

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Julia's avatar

Getting back to you so late. Your yesterday is now weeks away. Maybe you have not felt like this since. Or maybe you have. I know I have and I have also felt flooded with pure love. Either way, I see you, mama ♥️

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Darlene López's avatar

So beautiful. So raw. Thanks for sharing ✨

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Julia's avatar

This reply comes so late, but thank you. For your patience. For your presence. And for your feelings ♥️

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Gabrielle Feather's avatar

I love them so much but so relate to this feeling... I wonder if it is especially acute in the lives of creatives. How hard it is to explain to a 3 year old exactly what mummy is doing behind that door and why I can't give her all of me all the time...

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Julia's avatar

Getting back to you so late, thank you for your patience. And yes. What an ambiguous feeling, wanting to be our own for a while to most likely reflect creatively on our existence alongside them...I was reflecting over this today. Thank you, I feel so seen right now ✨

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Thoughts of Connie's avatar

This. This is exactly how it feels. 😭❤️

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Julia's avatar

Getting back to you so late. Thank you for your patience and for welcoming my words so tenderly, Connie. Your mother-heart is precious ♥️

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Natalie Brothers's avatar

Thank you for this, no idea how much I needed to hear this as last night and today I am wishing just the same. ❤️ And been hard on myself for it

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Julia's avatar

Hey Natalie, getting to this so late. I don't know if today you still need this words. I know i have been in and out of these same feelings lately and yet so flooded with love and gratitude. Amazing how a mother's heart can hold all these contrasting feelings within it.

I see you mama, thank you for being here ♥️

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Grief & Gratitude with Em's avatar

This is so powerful and desperately needed. Thank you for sharing. This is beautiful, true.

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Julia's avatar

Thank you so so much for receiving my words and seeing me in my vulnerability. 🕊️

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Georgia's avatar

Oh Julia this is so beautiful and my gosh do I feel this way sometimes too. Especially the ending 😭

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Julia's avatar

You beautiful soul, in out and all around. Thank you for receiving my words and allowing them to find your heart. I see you, mama 🕊️

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Lauren Barber's avatar

Oh Mama… your words a direct arrow into my tender heart. I feel it. I see you. I see all of you… the whole sky. Xxx

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Julia's avatar

Lauren, I am just so grateful for who you are. You know that, right? ♥️

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Allegra Chapman's avatar

This is beautiful and so very relatable!

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Julia's avatar

Thank you so much for receiving my words and seeing me! I see you too, mama 🕊️

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