Ah I’ve just found this piece and it resonates SO DEEPLY. I love the imagery of the woven thread, undone by us to be re-threaded anew, only to be unravelled once again. I wonder what my daughter will think of my parenting in 20 years time. Perhaps she will think of me as too out there, too liberated, too wild. Perhaps she will wish I was more normal, more conformed. Where I longed for my mothers authenticity and I cursed her for caring what others thought of us. Thank you for sharing this ♥️
Or perhaps she will be grateful for you being you. I like to think that maybe, while she will weave her own story of motherhood in ways that are all unique and authentic to who she is, she will look back and she'll look at you thinking that yes, maybe she would do some things differently but seeing you embody the mother you felt called to be was such a liberating, imperfectly beautiful, intensely rewarding experience. An experience that enabled her to be who she is today, shadows and light. She witnessed the freedom of being authentic, something that she now feels worthy of gifting herself and her children too. Thank you for being you, it's such a powerful and brave thing to do 💌
Oh my mama heart burst for you reading this... there is so much tangled up between mother and daughter... I can imagine this was a deep process to write and appreciate you sharing your heART with us. Your daughters are so lucky to have you. The Rhododendron is one of the most beautiful flowers I think... otherworldly. Xxx
Julia, firstly thank you for opening and sharing this so vulnerably. I know too well the triggers that both our own upbringing and changing generational patterns can bring up for both us and our own mothers. I live this each day and I really respect the narrative shifts that you’ve touched on here. Our mothers were and are always only doing their best with what they know and as hard as it is for them when they see us guiding our own in different lights, it’s important for them to witness it - just as we will one day. Powerful xx
Thank you for connecting to it. It’s been a challenging topic to mull over, feel into and eventually write about and knowing that I am seen and understood and that there is so much love and understanding around me, I’m so many shapes and forms has been such a healing force for me. 💌
Over the years I've had my share of parental outburst and they too were followed by apologies. My father left when I was young but I've learned over the years that his departure spared me from years and years of 'this is how your father' conditioning. Definitely for the best. I've paved my own road as a Dad to three children and of course it gets bumpy at times.
Unraveling is learning, it's natural. It's uncomfortable because there are parts of us that still want to hold onto what's passed, even though other parts of us never wanted it at all. Humanness is confusing, haha.
I don't know if you heard about the 'Liminal Space' writing challenge but this post is the perfect allegory.
Humanness is confusing. And how beautiful is this confusion, if I never questioned what I know and knew I’d still be repeating the mistakes made by those before me perpetuating a never-ending cycle of sameness. Instead look at how much we learn when we get it wrong our own way, how many new mistakes our children will learn from too so they won’t repeat them. How much potential for emotional development hides behind this? Of course one hopes we also get some things right! 🙌🏼♥️😂
Julia thank you for taking the time to write such a vulnerable share. It's beautiful to read the reality of what mothers experience. I do not have any children of my own (yet) but understand that parenting is not black and white. There is so much nuance involved, especially when you look at it through the lens of our own conditioning. Most people unfortunately do not take the time to examine their past and understand their generational patterns and so pass it on to their children unconsciously. Of course we will do this to some extent no matter how hard we try because at the end of the way we are human, which means we are perfectly imperfect. To embrace that is a beautiful thing. I want to commend you as a mother for trying to show up the best you can each day! Keep walking the path with vulnerability and love.
I will take the loving support you offer with gratitude! 💌 And it’s so true, there are so many shades in the journey of being humans and parenting is no different. After all we can only do what we feel is best — I always thought that being loving AND imperfect is the most valuable life example I can offer my daughters so that one day they will hopefully be able to find the courage to give themselves permission to surrender and allow themselves to shine in all their beautifully flawed way, knowing that perfection does not add or take anything to their worth. ♥️
Thank you for helping me move some tears out. This idea of unweaving the generations before patterns to weave your own has been heavy on my heart this week. While I’m not perfect, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and work around my anger and my in consistency of emotions, birth out of my own childhood of abuse and a mother who could not regulate herself. I’ve change things with my son and it is extremely hard. I find myself moving for a lot of grief around shifting my patterns, like I’ve betrayed where I came from. Thank you for this.
Ah I’ve just found this piece and it resonates SO DEEPLY. I love the imagery of the woven thread, undone by us to be re-threaded anew, only to be unravelled once again. I wonder what my daughter will think of my parenting in 20 years time. Perhaps she will think of me as too out there, too liberated, too wild. Perhaps she will wish I was more normal, more conformed. Where I longed for my mothers authenticity and I cursed her for caring what others thought of us. Thank you for sharing this ♥️
Or perhaps she will be grateful for you being you. I like to think that maybe, while she will weave her own story of motherhood in ways that are all unique and authentic to who she is, she will look back and she'll look at you thinking that yes, maybe she would do some things differently but seeing you embody the mother you felt called to be was such a liberating, imperfectly beautiful, intensely rewarding experience. An experience that enabled her to be who she is today, shadows and light. She witnessed the freedom of being authentic, something that she now feels worthy of gifting herself and her children too. Thank you for being you, it's such a powerful and brave thing to do 💌
Oh my mama heart burst for you reading this... there is so much tangled up between mother and daughter... I can imagine this was a deep process to write and appreciate you sharing your heART with us. Your daughters are so lucky to have you. The Rhododendron is one of the most beautiful flowers I think... otherworldly. Xxx
Once again, thank you for entering this space with your heart with all that's going on in your daily mama life. I truly appreciate you, thank you 💌
Showing vulnerability makes us stronger. And being loving and true to ourselves in our own imperfections is everything. ♥️
This belongs to a post-it not that belongs on my forehead on gloomy days of self-loathing. Literally. 💌
Julia, firstly thank you for opening and sharing this so vulnerably. I know too well the triggers that both our own upbringing and changing generational patterns can bring up for both us and our own mothers. I live this each day and I really respect the narrative shifts that you’ve touched on here. Our mothers were and are always only doing their best with what they know and as hard as it is for them when they see us guiding our own in different lights, it’s important for them to witness it - just as we will one day. Powerful xx
Thank you for connecting to it. It’s been a challenging topic to mull over, feel into and eventually write about and knowing that I am seen and understood and that there is so much love and understanding around me, I’m so many shapes and forms has been such a healing force for me. 💌
Over the years I've had my share of parental outburst and they too were followed by apologies. My father left when I was young but I've learned over the years that his departure spared me from years and years of 'this is how your father' conditioning. Definitely for the best. I've paved my own road as a Dad to three children and of course it gets bumpy at times.
Unraveling is learning, it's natural. It's uncomfortable because there are parts of us that still want to hold onto what's passed, even though other parts of us never wanted it at all. Humanness is confusing, haha.
I don't know if you heard about the 'Liminal Space' writing challenge but this post is the perfect allegory.
Humanness is confusing. And how beautiful is this confusion, if I never questioned what I know and knew I’d still be repeating the mistakes made by those before me perpetuating a never-ending cycle of sameness. Instead look at how much we learn when we get it wrong our own way, how many new mistakes our children will learn from too so they won’t repeat them. How much potential for emotional development hides behind this? Of course one hopes we also get some things right! 🙌🏼♥️😂
Julia thank you for taking the time to write such a vulnerable share. It's beautiful to read the reality of what mothers experience. I do not have any children of my own (yet) but understand that parenting is not black and white. There is so much nuance involved, especially when you look at it through the lens of our own conditioning. Most people unfortunately do not take the time to examine their past and understand their generational patterns and so pass it on to their children unconsciously. Of course we will do this to some extent no matter how hard we try because at the end of the way we are human, which means we are perfectly imperfect. To embrace that is a beautiful thing. I want to commend you as a mother for trying to show up the best you can each day! Keep walking the path with vulnerability and love.
I will take the loving support you offer with gratitude! 💌 And it’s so true, there are so many shades in the journey of being humans and parenting is no different. After all we can only do what we feel is best — I always thought that being loving AND imperfect is the most valuable life example I can offer my daughters so that one day they will hopefully be able to find the courage to give themselves permission to surrender and allow themselves to shine in all their beautifully flawed way, knowing that perfection does not add or take anything to their worth. ♥️
“Being loving and imperfect” is beautiful. Have you seen a tv series called This Is Us? I feel you’d love it
Thank you for helping me move some tears out. This idea of unweaving the generations before patterns to weave your own has been heavy on my heart this week. While I’m not perfect, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and work around my anger and my in consistency of emotions, birth out of my own childhood of abuse and a mother who could not regulate herself. I’ve change things with my son and it is extremely hard. I find myself moving for a lot of grief around shifting my patterns, like I’ve betrayed where I came from. Thank you for this.